Mon, 31 December 2007 Someone asked me what to do after you have made your list of 100 desires. Here is one process to follow: Go over the list. You might even make a copy that you can cut apart each desire into a single strip of paper. Organize the desires into similar groups. Then for each group write down a list of basic statements regarding "how" you will fulfill them. Choose 1-10 desires from the one hundred. For these write specific "how" statements including who will help and timing. Look at your daily life, what needs to change to achieve fulfillment of any one of these desires. Are you willing to change your life and take the actions needed to fulfill this desire? If you are willing - START NOW! Category: The Twelve Holy Nights -- posted at: 11:33 AM Comments[4] |
Dear Friends, I am so glad that Lynn posted this message. I was away on retreat last week, starting on Christmas Day, so I was only able to take Night One with me. Which was just as well, since I had not read the Advent Preparation steps, and spent my three nights there doing the Advent work as well as Night One. Last night I sat down to do Night Two on Desire and Fulfillment and it did not go well. I tried to have as few restrictions or pre-conceptions as possible, so managed to come up with 25 desires. Then I moved to the task of how to fulfill those desires. I finally ended up with four categories, U=Things so unlikely as to be practically impossible. Such as to have improved vision. This would involve the lasik surgery that I cannot afford and do not want to take the chance of having. Next were things marked B= If I really want it, just BUY it. Then things P= which would require physical changes that are close to impossible such as having more energy or to lose 100 lbs. Last were things D= that I just need to go ahead and get off my butt and DO, such as organize my books and art supplies or sketch every day. I know people who make a list of Goals at the beginning of each year, such as how much money they intend to earn, and then have some idea of how to make these things come about. This is a complete mystery to me, almost as mysterious as if they told me that they know how to fly. I am fortunate to have the job I do and there is no money for raises. I am going to earn what I am paid. Finally I realized that I basically believe that having desires is wrong! That my *desire* is detatchment, acceptance, surrender, and serenity. I am sorry to be posting this so late, but does anyone else identify with this or have any suggestions or comments.
I really appreciate what you've shared here Rachel. For the past few years I've written down my desires, and have had to work initially through my judgemental and critical mind and all the chatter about what I've written! That chatter has largely subsided now, especially when some of the impossible desires have come true!!! I am having so much fun with these hundred desires... I just right down anything that comes to mind, small things and things that seem impossible... I have come to love my desires, they show me where my heart is wanting to go... and when I leave my judgement to do its job like helping me to make decisions about driving, for example!, I am free to let my desires wander into uncharted lands and it is exciting to me! I don't get attached to the outcome, but surrender to what is and let myself feel the joy and excitement of what might be possible...
posted by: Lea on Tue, 1/1 02:36 AM EST
Rachel, I so identify with your feelings! I, too, have difficulty reconciling "desire" and acceptance. Yet, I think there is a way to allow them to co-exist. For me, I believe it all has to do with fear. That which one resists, persists. I fear and resist my situation as it is; thus it remains unchanged. I also fear the process and outcome of change - failure. I believe the solution is to truly accept what is, without judgment or anger, without dwelling on how I got to this space or worrying about if I will ever escape from this space. Once I have completely surrendered to what is true for me right now, I can take actions to move on. As long as I am not attached to the outcome of my actions, I can focus on taking joy in the actions themselves. The fear of failure disappears if I am not attached to the fruits of my labor.
It seems that you (as I do) limit your vision of what is possible. Why do you lock yourself into the job you have now or the impossibility of receiving more money from that job or elsewhere? You "do not want to take the chance" of having lasik surgery. Can you conceive of being relieved of your fears? Why is it "close to impossible" to lose 100 lbs. or gain more energy? You may not know how to accomplish either one, but when you negate the possibility, you close yourself to finding the answers to "how." Fear paralyzes me. Fear of being overwhelmed, fear of not being good at what I do. Can you make organizing a joyful process if you do not focus on how much there is to do? Can you sketch every day if you don't judge your work or fear that you will not be inspired?
I believe the basic element that is lacking is trust - trust in the perfection of the universe or in a higher power or in our own inner voices and wisdom of our souls. I don't know how to create faith, other than to ask for it and to be open to receiving it. With absolute faith there can be no fear, and without fear, all that is left is love.
We seem to be kindred spirits, and the most difficult thing for me is to accept myself, to surrender to my flaws or fears without judgment and self-loathing. We need to be kind to ourselves and know that we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. I wish you nothing but love.
It seems that you (as I do) limit your vision of what is possible. Why do you lock yourself into the job you have now or the impossibility of receiving more money from that job or elsewhere? You "do not want to take the chance" of having lasik surgery. Can you conceive of being relieved of your fears? Why is it "close to impossible" to lose 100 lbs. or gain more energy? You may not know how to accomplish either one, but when you negate the possibility, you close yourself to finding the answers to "how." Fear paralyzes me. Fear of being overwhelmed, fear of not being good at what I do. Can you make organizing a joyful process if you do not focus on how much there is to do? Can you sketch every day if you don't judge your work or fear that you will not be inspired?
I believe the basic element that is lacking is trust - trust in the perfection of the universe or in a higher power or in our own inner voices and wisdom of our souls. I don't know how to create faith, other than to ask for it and to be open to receiving it. With absolute faith there can be no fear, and without fear, all that is left is love.
We seem to be kindred spirits, and the most difficult thing for me is to accept myself, to surrender to my flaws or fears without judgment and self-loathing. We need to be kind to ourselves and know that we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. I wish you nothing but love.
Thank you to both Gabrielle and Lea for posting. I may be painting some of the picture too darkly. While my job does not offer the possiblity of a raise, it does provide health insurance, which I desparately need. And the hours are such that I can pursue my art and a faith-sharing group on some weekdays. I am indeed fortunate to have both of those large benefits. It does not seem reasonable to wish that I didnt have to work to support myself.
I do look forward to the organizing of books and art supplies, it is only trying to find the time, and the time at a time of day that I also have energy. I always delight in my sketches when I do them, again, there are never enough hours in the day.
I have been treating some of my ailments with accupuncture this past year and have found some progress. Just the willingness to spend any time and money on physical care is a huge leap. I have also been diagnosed with a thyroid deficiency and have much more energy now that I am taking medication.
I try very hard not to be invested in the results of anything I undertake, but it is very hard to do intense, difficult things without wanting a desired result. If I do not care a great deal, I would not make the effort. If I do care a great deal, I try to put that effort into things that are at least on the radar of possible. Thanks for the reminders to trust, let go, and for me, I will still keep the desires list as slim as possible. There are a great many things I have already had and done. These are the years for letting go.
Happy New Year to all.
I do look forward to the organizing of books and art supplies, it is only trying to find the time, and the time at a time of day that I also have energy. I always delight in my sketches when I do them, again, there are never enough hours in the day.
I have been treating some of my ailments with accupuncture this past year and have found some progress. Just the willingness to spend any time and money on physical care is a huge leap. I have also been diagnosed with a thyroid deficiency and have much more energy now that I am taking medication.
I try very hard not to be invested in the results of anything I undertake, but it is very hard to do intense, difficult things without wanting a desired result. If I do not care a great deal, I would not make the effort. If I do care a great deal, I try to put that effort into things that are at least on the radar of possible. Thanks for the reminders to trust, let go, and for me, I will still keep the desires list as slim as possible. There are a great many things I have already had and done. These are the years for letting go.
Happy New Year to all.
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